Male Behavior Poll

Here's a little scenario for you all to ponder on this lovely Friday afternoon.

You are a guy. You are single and you date around. Recently you had a short-lived fling with a girl that didn't go very well because you botched it up by acting like a royal idiot. After proclaiming your desire to be friends with the girl you run into her at a bar where she's hanging with a bunch of her friends. You decide to join the fun. The botched fling, is after all, water under the bridge and you like being around said girl.

Question 1: Are you hanging out with her because you truly do enjoy her company or do you have other motives?

You're having an okay time hanging out with the girl and her friends. Granted, her friends keep on shooting you death glances and the lot of them dissolve time-to-time into hysterical giggles whenever they look in your direction, but they're drunk and you think that girls are crazy anyway.

Question 2: What do you think the girls are whispering about when they point and laugh at you?

There are a few other guys in this situation but you decide, for whatever reason, to ignore them and steal peeks down the girl's blouse whenever you can. The girl is talking to a group of the guys. You saunter over and attach yourself to her but you don't join the conversation. Later, you complain to her that there are too many guys at the bar and not enough girls.

Question 3: What gives?

You remember that you have some drugs in your pocket that you'd like to partake in. You invite the girl and a couple of her friends outside into an ally. A good time is had by all.

Question 4: In offering the girl and her friends drugs were you

a.) being nice
b.) attempting to cloud their perceptions of the evening so they wouldn't recognize what a jerk you were being
c.) something else, if so please explain

Readers are encouraged to respond to the poll in the comments section below.

Other pretties

I can't decide how I feel about these guys. Ever since the buzz surrounding Jessica Cutler's Washingtonienne died out our city's pop culture media has been straining to produce evidence of the next *big thing* in DC blogs. The Express, the crib sheet of the Washington Post, recently ran an article practically humping on the legs of the Cleveland Park Men's Club and its sister (or fuck buddy, I'm not sure which) site Kelly Ann Collins. If we are to believe the Express, sleeping with senators is out, having been replaced by good old fashioned social climbing or hanging with men who refer to themselves as the Senator. Social climbing is probably as old as society itself, and anyone who is still hung up on the well groomed, made-up, expensively dressed (notice I didn't say pretty, many of them aren't) who spend inordinate amounts of personal energy kissing ass over fancy cocktails to get to the next level of that activity is hopelessly naive and dull. What interests me more is the role blogs have come to play in shaping public identities. I have never met Ms. Collins, the Senator or any of their ilk. The circles they run in are not the same as mine (I suspect that I spend entirely more time in dive bars and that none of them have ever been accused of being a hippy). But in launching blogs that detail their lives cavorting through high-end D.C. parties, pushing advice on the fine art of gentlemanliness (new word), or just generally living charmed lives of ostentation (yes, I'm a tad jealous) they have managed to create larger than life personas that exist to their readers as nothing but the activities that they convey. As far as I know the boys of CPMC exist for no purposes other than partying and seducing women. Occasionally they watch movies--Alfie was recently reviewed--although I wish they wouldn't because their prose is rather flat and their insights are like, duh.

In reality these guys could be just like the other homely Dockers-wearing, Economist-toting, wishy-washy policy drones that haunt every corner of our city. The Express gave us photographic evidence of the cat-like sex appeal of Ms. Collins so we can believe what we already suspected. But who are these guys? In constructing a blog to hide behind they have created an almost mythic, yet two-dimensional image of themselves. All fabulousness all the time. Yet Even Jay Gatsby was revealed to be something of a chimera and one can't help but wonder to what extent this applies to the CPMC as well.


They remind me of the boys I hung out with in college. Less intellectual and certainly less angsty (think Rules of Attraction--the book not the movie). But reading CPMC takes me back to being 19 and learning how to drink gin and tonics while wearing formal wear in a dorm room whose furniture had been replaced entirely by antiques, where not being funny and charming was reason to be asked to leave and John Cheever was a frequent topic of conversation.

As a girl, I kind of want them to be in real life what they claim to be on-line. This city needs more sophisticated young men already schooled in the romantic arts. I'll even spare everyone the obvious rant that they're probably total cads (because guys so obsessed with seducing women generally tend to be). For now I am suspending disbelief and rolling with their handsome punches.

Theme Songs

Now taking nominations for the song of the month. My pick: Cruel Summer. Thoughts?

Moderation is for the other signs of the zodiac

hells, yeah...

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): One of Sesame Street's most recognizable characters is Cookie Monster. After years of feasting on all the cookies he wanted, the fuzzy blue puppet has recently been forced to limit his intake. In an effort to teach kids better eating habits, the show's producers even require Cookie Monster to sing a song called, "A Cookie Is a Sometimes Food." I vociferously protest this action. Born November 2, Cookie Monster is a Scorpio, and Scorpios shouldn't be compelled to tone down their desires as long as their desires aren't hurting anyone. You're on this earth to explore your cravings, to be led by your cravings to the frontiers of understanding. That's the only way they can teach you all they have to teach. Now go and commune with as many cookies (or your personal equivalent) as you need to.

Hutchison to go imperial on dc's ass

Time to share a pet peeve here, folks. As a DC resident it makes my blood boil when elected representatives from other states use my city as a testing ground for their policy ideas.

Feinstein did it a couple of years ago with her lame school voucher idea, and now Kay Bailey Hutchison is joining the bandwagon. The Senator has introduced legislation to repeal the city's gun ban. Say what you will about gun rights and modern interpretations of the second amendment, that's not at issue here. What is at issue is the fact that I did not vote for Senator Hutchison and yet I get the benefit of her splendid new regulations. Such imperialistic actions are tightening Republican control over liberal DC and only serving to remind us that our own elected representatives have no power when it comes to voting on issues in Congress.

Blah. Still here folks. Still staring possible unemployment in the face. Donations accepted at any time. I could really use a lap top, for instance. I want to be one of those mysterious people at Sparky's or Soho who bang away at their computers in the middle of the day. I used to assume they were students, but now I'm guessing something different. Ten bucks says they're casualties of progressive politics, or orphans of the movement, as I have taken to calling myself and everyone else who supported a campaign or a left-leaning non-profit last cycle. It's a strange thing about our work. We make little money and our jobs are never as stable as we think. We find immense gratification in having people tell us "wow, your organization does great work!" Our candidates lose (except for the state level pols who actually rocked the last election), our Directors are so frazzled they don't have time to complete grant applications, we lose our funding and our jobs. It's not such a rosy relationship and yet we continue to find ourselves in it. I'm working on a theory as to why we do this. Not the obvious answer or "fighting the good fight" or whatever. Details to come. Actually, that isn't even why I logged on today. I've been trying to think for some time about what Hey Pretty needs to make itself more interesting, other than perhaps a theme or some kind of editorial direction. I never claimed to be aiming for blogging greatness and I certainly feel no need for Hey Pretty to become an authority on anything. Having said this, I now know how to infuse little miss with some purpose. Advice for men. That's right, advice about women for men. Not to get all Carrie Bradshaw on my poor readers, but I do have a bit of experience dealing with the weird miscalculations of the male species and I now think that after dating half of Washington, D.C. that I may have a few pearls of wisdom to share with my beloveds. So--send me (or leave them in the comment box) any questions you got about dealing with women--why your girlfriend/the stranger next to you in bed got so pissed off when you did x, y or z, and I will try to enlighten. And if nobody sends me anything I will simply make letters up about topics that I feel like addressing.

Hey Pretty Gets A Face Lift!

Yes dear readers, a new day brings a new look. Hey Pretty has shrugged off its drab black garb for something a little lighter for the summer.

So, two very generous fellow bloggers (whose blogs are actually informative, rather than whatever this is) have dedicated ether space to yours truely. Time to return the favor.

1.) For random insights on music history, tune your dials to Musical Guru . It's written by my friend Mike, who is the only person I ever ask about music these days because he knows more than anyone else anyway. And he's Erin's boyfriend.

2.) For writing that is far funnier than mine, mosey on over to Baggy Pants and Bravado, written by Noah, who I went to high school with. Noah was the kid in high school who not only wrote plays, but wrote funny plays that people actually wanted to put on and act in. If there could have been such a thing as a 15 year old male Wendy Wasserstein back in the early 90's, that would have been him.

And finally, from the SF Chronical's Weird News, we have this link about a new day of celebration in Brazil that, if you think about it, shouldn't come as much of a surprise to anyone.

Big developments in the life of Hey Pretty.

1.) Hey Pretty lost its day job
2.) Hey Pretty is having its very first "solo show" and it opens tonight. Everyone head on down to the Common Share in Adams Morgan for DJ, drinks, and cheap art.

Hey Pretty has two new siblings! Check out Red Photography and Runs With Scissors, the offical page of my kickball team.