hey pretty

Ceci n'est pas une "dating blog."

Friday, May 27, 2005

Male Behavior Poll

Here's a little scenario for you all to ponder on this lovely Friday afternoon.

You are a guy. You are single and you date around. Recently you had a short-lived fling with a girl that didn't go very well because you botched it up by acting like a royal idiot. After proclaiming your desire to be friends with the girl you run into her at a bar where she's hanging with a bunch of her friends. You decide to join the fun. The botched fling, is after all, water under the bridge and you like being around said girl.

Question 1: Are you hanging out with her because you truly do enjoy her company or do you have other motives?

You're having an okay time hanging out with the girl and her friends. Granted, her friends keep on shooting you death glances and the lot of them dissolve time-to-time into hysterical giggles whenever they look in your direction, but they're drunk and you think that girls are crazy anyway.

Question 2: What do you think the girls are whispering about when they point and laugh at you?

There are a few other guys in this situation but you decide, for whatever reason, to ignore them and steal peeks down the girl's blouse whenever you can. The girl is talking to a group of the guys. You saunter over and attach yourself to her but you don't join the conversation. Later, you complain to her that there are too many guys at the bar and not enough girls.

Question 3: What gives?

You remember that you have some drugs in your pocket that you'd like to partake in. You invite the girl and a couple of her friends outside into an ally. A good time is had by all.

Question 4: In offering the girl and her friends drugs were you

a.) being nice
b.) attempting to cloud their perceptions of the evening so they wouldn't recognize what a jerk you were being
c.) something else, if so please explain

Readers are encouraged to respond to the poll in the comments section below.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ooooh, I love a pop-quiz...

Um, 1: I'd guess as a general proposition, other motives. Primarily involving the fact that you *know* the girl and something might spark up - and none of the "you're an entirely new person I have to charm" effort.

2.) You probably laugh along with them, thinking they might be talking about you - but if there aren't hard feelings (and he's probably assuming there aren't as he's able to hang around with you without a glass of water being dumped down his shirt) it's okay.

3.) The "looking down shirt" question is a gimmie - do you need the answer? He's trying to assert his independence but also interest in a hook-up by saying there should be more girls. 'Cause either you'd respond, "yeah" and he feels like he can hang around you like one of the guys (while still looking down your shirt), or you reply "no" and it signals you don't want other girls 'cause you want him...

And 4: Probably to cloud the judgment of everyone, get the giggling to be -with- you instead of -at- you, and maybe get enough points to hook up at the end.

How did I do?

- DS

9:55 PM  
Blogger Hey Pretty said...

But you told her that you just wanted to be friends. Does that mean "friends" expect for when she's the only girl you think is hot at the bar? Isn't she justified in blowing you off if you at any point in the past week made her cry? How can you then expect a hookup? It makes no sense. If you want easy sex, than don't use the "friends" line.

Okay, another question: By blowing you off and taking a cab home with a girlfrend, how do her actions make you feel?

10:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, the whole friends line works in several ways. If it takes away from the pressure to have a serious relationship, but still permitting flirtation, then it might be that. It still seems like he digs you, but he also just might be a jerk.

I'd say the second question - depends on his perspective. If he really wanted to hang out, maybe he's bummed. Sorta depends on how the terms were when you left.

- DS

1:48 PM  
Blogger Michael J. West said...

I'm sorry I didn't answer this a week ago. But I can lend some perspective now...mostly.

1. I don't know if it's "other motives" in the classic sense; it might just be that you're trying to convince yourself (or her) that you're not a complete dick. I mean, when I happen to cross paths socially with an ex or an old fling, my choices are either to (1) play the "you don't see me, I don't see you" game, which is awkward and sometimes humiliating, or (2) try to ingratiate myself and maybe come off like an okay guy. Frankly I tend to choose (1) for whatever reason, but some guys obviously choose (2).

2. Given that in the previous question, option (1) is still in the back of your mind, you know perfectly well what the girls are whispering and giggling about, but you're still trying not to be a dick (at this point, though, you're probably revealed for the dick you are, so resistance is futile. You just refuse to admit that to yourself.)

3. Dave answered this so perfectly, I just got nothin' to add.

4. I think that the drugs are your last-ditch effort to make yourself part of the group. This ties in neatly with the "giggling with you not at you" answer.

Final Question: I have to think if you blow off the girl and get in the cab with a girlfriend, your asshole credentials are certified.

5:29 AM  
Blogger Michael J. West said...

Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't realize you blew HIM off. If He had blown YOU off, he'd be an asshole. If you blew HIM off, he either (1) knows perfectly well why and understands, even if it hurts, or (2) is willfully oblivious and stands there wondering what he did.

The "friends" thing frequently means "friends, unless I'm horny." He may not even have known at the time that that's what he meant, but there it is.

10:55 AM  
Blogger Hey Pretty said...

I love male input. If anyone has learned anything from this debacle, it is that people should just say and do what they mean, not what they think is correct for that situation. Now pardon me while I go join a covent.

4:21 PM  

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