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Monday, March 12, 2007

The Sports Imbecile Does March Madness, Part 1

Don't ask me why, but I just filled out March Madness brackets. I haven't entered a pool, nor do I want to. Every year I am asked by some sports-nut who sees March Madness pools as a chance to rob me (the sports imbecile) totally blind. I know what they say about clueless people generally having good luck when it comes to that kind of stuff. I don't buy it. But I was bored and saw that the NY Times has an interactive brackets thing on their website, so I spent a few minutes impulsively choosing teams (I used "the force") and before I knew it, my brackets were complete. At times I chose based on seeding, other times I chose based on a desire to route against a team loved by an especially vile ex, others were chosen based on the inevitability of a few random upsets. I have even selected a "Cinderella Story." Winthrop is going to charge past the mighty forces of Notre Dame and Miami of Ohio to make it to round 3.

For the finals, I selected Memphis to face Kansas. I know nothing of Kansas other than the fact that they're supposed to be really good. Memphis I chose for sentimental reasons. When I was in high school, John Calipari, Memphis' current coach, lead the Minuteman of the University of Massachusetts in several very successful seasons. I went to high school in Amherst, where UMASS is located. Even as a disaffected theatre geek, I appreciated the success of the Minutemen in those years. The excitement they inspired in our sleepy little college town, which usually only got excited by things like Free Tibet rallies, was contagious.

Calipari lived in my town, a tiny hamlet called Leverett, home to only 1200 people. I rode the school bus with his kids. Although I never had reason to meet Calipari, I felt like I knew him through proximity.

Nostalgia informs many peoples' affinities towards the sports teams the fill their hearts. Therefore, I have no qualms in selecting Memphis to take it all.

Besides, it's not like there's money riding on this.

Updated! I lied. I joined the office pool. Now the guys I work with will have yet another reason to laugh at me. But I don't care. Clueless women have a long glorious history of beating sports-obsessed guys when it comes to this stuff. And, I am realizing today that I suffering from some sort of temporary depression and need a good distraction from my sorrows. And, it will give me something entertaining to blog about besides my somewhat broken heart, which I'm sure you all are tired of hearing about.

Go Memphis!

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Blogger I-66 said...

Ahh... UMASS and the days of healthy Marcus Camby and Lou Roe. Upon thee I look fondly.

7:33 PM  
Blogger Miles said...

Don't forget Edgar Padilla and Carmelo Travieso! My favorite incident that season was the day Camby collapsed on the court, later blamed on, and I am not making this up, "too much cough syrup."

7:41 PM  
Blogger Eric said...

Winthrop is actually widely considered to be a better team than Notre Dame, and that might be the first time mighty force and Miami of Ohio have ever been used in the same sentence. So what I'm saying is I think you might be better at this then you think.

Every year I fill out a bracket and I put a lot of thought into match ups and all that crap and end up getting my ass kicked. This year I think me strategy is going to be whose mascot I think would win in a fight.

7:44 PM  
Blogger Prince Purple said...

amherst! i've visited there quite often. beautiful spot. or maybe i am thinking of northampton, which i even know how to pronounce, because i always get those two mixed up in my head.

10:03 PM  
Blogger Starboard Tack said...

In LOVE, you pick with your heart.

In sports betting, you pick with your head. Good luck (I hope you are correct), but I think Memphis is highly overrated.

12:24 AM  
Blogger recovering overachiever said...

I certainly wouldn't say I'm clueless, but last year I came in 2nd in my office pool and 3rd in my dad's office pool. Both came with cash prizes. Not too shabby!

1:24 PM  
Blogger Matt said...

I know what you mean about vile exes.

A string of women have led me, inexplicably, to hate yoga, kittens, fresh garden vegetables and the homeless....

2:19 PM  
Blogger LuLu said...

I always pick mine by whose mascot can pick whose mascots ass. And one year, I won.

6:12 PM  
Blogger Belle said...

Good luck! I've only joined a pool once before... I picked all my teams in five minutes based on pretty much nothing (not even knowing who the mascots were, but I like that strategy). Anyhow, I was invited because the sport-nuts in the office wanted the girls' money to fatten the pot, but I kicked their asses and laughed all the way to the bar. Here's to you doing the same!

5:10 PM  

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