hey pretty

Ceci n'est pas une "dating blog."

Friday, February 23, 2007

Extraordinarily Ordinary

Women obsess over movie stars because they're handsome and represent a fantasy (ex: my previous "desert island post") but there is also something so awesome about regular, ordinary guys. I know I complain about them a lot. But in general, I must say that I am a great fan of guys. An admirer, an appreciator. I don't make these claims based on their physiques, although in certain cases, those can be rather nice.

No, what I love about guys is this: Despite the fact that they often seem so foreign and "other" with their bizarre non-female thought processes, and proclivity towards detachment, sometimes they'll admit to thinking the dorkiest things ever. Probably not the same dorky things that you think about, but close enough on the dorky-to-cool spectrum for you to relate.

There's just something comforting about that. So many single women spend a good amount of time and energy scheming up ways to impress men. Makeup, clothing, lingerie, shoes, sports trivia. Whatever. As if men were some alien species that need to be carefully hunted.* Yeah, they're different of course, but in some essential ways, not so much. I think that a lot of single women would be happier in their theoretical and real-life interactions with men if they would allow themselves to appreciate the ways in which the sexes are the same.

Case in point: The lede in this article in the lad mag Esquire: When I was six, I was morbidly obsessed with the Make-a-Wish Foundation. With its help I could shoot baskets with Larry Bird, and all I had to do in return was die. So I hoped for the worst.

I absolutely love this lede. The article that follows I don't care an iota about, but this lede is genius. In literary terms, it makes for an attention-grabbing beginning, and it gives you insights into the author's quirks. In female-to-male translation terms it's utterly reassuring. It says, "look, guys have the same strange thought patterns that you do. They too, spent their childhoods fixated on odd, even morbid fantasies that occasionally resurface as amusing anecdotes in their adult lives."

In my opinion, dorky thoughts are the great equalizer. And for some reason, they're all the more awesome when articulated by a guy. I for one, always feel as if I'm making leeway with somebody when we feel comfortable enough with one another to admit somewhat lame or goofy things to one another. We try so hard to appear as we perceive they want us to be. But sometimes it's awesome when our guards drop and we can simply let loose. I think it's what our moms always referred to as "being yourself," and you know what? There were right.

Maybe it's just a quirk of mine, but it makes navigating experiences like the dating world so much easier to endure.

We're really not all that different. Just movin' around, bumpin' into one another, occasionally making a connection.



*All that scheming is also rather hilarious when you consider how oblivious most guys are 99% of the time.

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4 Comments:

Blogger Lisa said...

I agree 100%. We work so hard in our courting endeavors to say the right thing, look the right way, mind our P's and Q's... and one day you fart by accident. Or you say something without thinking first. Or you admit to doing something ridiculous in grade school. Or he finds your bat mitzvah picture (ok, that only works for me), but...

You look over, after your unfortunate experience, and they aren't gone.

That's when you realize that there's nothing unfortunate about unfortunate experiences at all.

8:19 PM  
Blogger DarthImmortal said...

You might find this hard to believe but a lot of men feel the same way. We like it when a woman "lets her hair down" and just lets her personality out.

Fake smiles and fake tits only get so far, but when the personalities click, you've really got something special.

The trouble is too many people put their best foot forward and abandon their true personalities for fear of rejection. I say let the real you out and if it is not meant to be then get it over with quickly. Sort of like ripping off a band aid.

Great post!!

11:07 PM  
Blogger Matt said...

Our brains are different, sure, influenced by differing hormones and differing levels of the same hormones.

The most important difference might be that men's brains have only 1/10 the real estate as women devoted to processing emotion. That explains a lot. It's harder for us to get over stuff sometimes.

But other than that, we're all herky-jerky human beings--me especially.

1:37 AM  
Blogger Lickety Split said...

GREAT post HP. Love it.

re: "the bumping into each other"...kinda like atoms,eh?

9:04 PM  

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