hey pretty

Ceci n'est pas une "dating blog."

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Time of Death, 9:10 pm

Ah well, another relationship comes to an inevitable end. I can't get into the dramatic details, because really it wasn't so dramatic. I'd been rehearsing it in my head for over a week. What I would say, how I would order my thoughts, build up to a climate end. Although it didn't go down exactly how I envisioned it (what does?) I do feel really good in the verbal smack-down I administered. There's nothing quite like telling somebody who you have felt abandoned by how emotionally immature they are and how bad they are at handling things.

To be honest it felt doomed from the start. Sure, I entertained fantasies now and then that he might come around to the whole long distance thing. Me, writing him poignant love letters that he would read from a Navy ship docked in some exotic sea. It would have been oh so retro and romantic. But I always knew the relationship had a rigid shelf life, and even that was causing me some amount of stress. And then, the whole family issues thing happened, which I was willing to roll with, but as I have said before, only up to a certain point. Meanwhile, I grew accustomed to his absence and had already starting living a life without him. Yeah, it sucks, it always does, especially when the breakup occurs not over martinis at a chic lounge with you in your sexiest, yeah asshat, you'll totally miss me when I'm gone little black dress (which I had been saving for the occasion), but over the phone with the person you're in the process of extricating yourself from being frustratingly unresponsive.

But nonetheless, I stated my case, highlighted what I think he did wrong, pointing out what I deserved that I wasn't getting, mourning his inability to honor the good in what we had, tsk-tsking at his inability to at least pretend that I meant a little to him, even suggesting he take a few days to collect his thoughts so we could discuss it more maturely. Because there is nothing worse than breaking up with non-sequitors. Grunt a couple times and call it a day? I think not. So, boys who are reading this post, perhaps I sound harsh and perhaps I sound like a ball-buster. So be it. Perhaps I harped a bit on his personal short comings. I take none of it back.

On to greener pastures.

Over and out.

9 Comments:

Blogger Enoreios said...

I'm sorry that it came to this, and I take no delight in reading of sailor's demise... But well done. I think most guys reading this will agree with my assertion that it did sound harsh & "ball-busting". And that it was very much deserved. And, also, quite just.

So good for you, hp. Don't let the bastards wear you down.

9:02 AM  
Blogger Dave S. said...

I'm in the solid pro-HP camp. Let the verbal smack-downs run wild. Plus, in the grand-scheme of things, I find smackdowns serve a good purpose. Better to let it out, be honest, explicitly point out what went wrong, and end it without mixed feelings. In a few instances (often after a bit of time) the guys might actually learn from the experience. It sure ain't comfortable to receive, but a bit of honesty can go a long way.

2:49 PM  
Blogger ejtakeslife said...

Based on my (limited) encounters with and stories of Sailor, your smackdown was well within the rules of the game. Hope you're doing okay today. Onwards and upwards!

3:08 PM  
Blogger Anwen said...

Oh, I wish I'd told it how it was instead of wussing out and trying not to hurt my guy's feelings - he'd hurt mine after all! Ball-busting is what its all about!

5:13 PM  
Blogger Hey Pretty said...

Ah, thanks guys. Part of me thinks it's a little uncool to go on about relationships ending. But this one is a bit of a milestone in that I saw the potential for it to drag out and I was the one who simply said "No, it's over." Those words have never left my lips before--normally I let the other guy do it. It feels so strangely empowering.

6:22 PM  
Blogger Frankly, Scarlett said...

Hell Ya its empowering!

I'm so proud of you! Good work, kiddo! On to bigger and better things - and i mean that literally.

9:00 PM  
Blogger EclecticBlue said...

Sorry, HP. Glad you were able to get those final thoughts in, though. But, it sounds like your life will be better for it ... so i raise a toast to you.

9:04 PM  
Blogger Hey Pretty said...

Thanks, darlings. As Britney does, so do I, apparently.

10:31 PM  
Blogger Lickety Split said...

Sweetie, I'm sorry but look at it this way...

You're learning what to contrast Mr. Right against....

Don't worry about sounding like a ball buster...he had it coming.

You're the bomb.

10:54 PM  

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