hey pretty

Ceci n'est pas une "dating blog."

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Get Your [fill in the blank] On...

Oh my, what a weekend, my darling readers. Things went down.

I was in a wedding. I walked down an aisle to Pacabell's Canon playing on the organ, a groomsman on my arm. I tried my best to not cry, not let the makeup that had been professionally pancaked on to my face several hours earlier run down my face in sentimental streams. I had my picture taken a million times, ate barbeque, danced a little, drank a little, said my goodbyes when the reception ended, and high-tailed it to my other Saturday night engagements.

Now, in my experience, Halloween Saturdays are rife with opportunities for regrettable behavior. Perhaps it's something about being in costume that makes people more prone to behavior they might otherwise think twice about. This year, true to others, potential regret nipped at my heels all night. While it was good that I did not follow my impulse to throw down the gauntlet at 2 am when S found it proper to respond to a drunken phone call from a mutual friend (let's remember that it's taking him an average of 4 days to return my phone calls these days) I did see it as a clear opportunity to down a few more beers and to not exactly rebuff some friendly conversation from another party-goer or two. It's impossible to justify revenge flirting when the person you're feeling moderately scorned about is going through some sort of life disturbing situation, but a girl can only be patient and understanding for so long. As HP is only human, HP's tether is about 2 weeks long. But still, my hand was on my cell phone and poised to make an extremely perturbed, sarcastic "nice to acknowledge her calls and not mine" call when I thought better of it. Hooray for the intervention of logic. In my extensive experience with complicated male/female situations I have learned at least one thing, the most important of which being, do not do anything that may make you look like a psycho, even if you feel justified doing so at the time. When upset, there is a time and a place to express your angst, and a drunken late night phone call is never, ever one of those places.

As for S, I certainly cannot speak for his communication style. I'm guessing however, that the situation is causing him extreme stress and that from his perspective, it's probably easier to text a casual friend than to commit to a conversation with somebody who feels emotionally invested in him, and who may suggest that he explore some of his own emotions. Whereas in a similar situation, I am betting that many women would draw comfort from the support of a significant other, men seem to find it yet other complication. There was a time when I'd perceive a situation such as this to be an opportunity to hold on that much harder. But trial and a whole lot of error has jaded HP just a bit and these days I'm finding it impossible to do so. I can't experience emotions for more than one person. Alas, I have far too many of my own to properly sort out. Instead, I'm just going to passively ride this out until a more appropriate moment of resolution. Stay tuned for the return of a more light-hearted, devil-may care HP.


Blogger romance junkie said...

you are so evolved ;) i think you might be spot on regarding it being easier to text someone breezily than call someone who is genuinely concerned.

i also agree with the two week window. concern and understanding are all well and good. but a simple "hi! i'm okay" isn't too much to ask. it's when common courtesy disappears my understanding goes out the window.

4:23 PM  
Blogger Hey Pretty said...

Word. I've always regarded clinginess as a constant need for attention, but I think it's also possible to be clingy simply by asking that somebody communicate with you beyond their abilities. Of course, his inability to doesn't speak particularly well of him...No worries. I'm fine without him.

7:23 PM  

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