hey pretty

Ceci n'est pas une "dating blog."

Thursday, September 28, 2006

The Mirror Conspiracy

Remember that episode of Seinfeld where Elaine gains the wrath of the Barney's sales force because she insists on trekking outside in a Calvin Klein party dress to get an accurate assessment of her reflection in it because she's convinced that the store has nothing but "skinny mirrors?" I am convinced that similar forces are at work at my gym. I have been a member for several years now, and have caught my image in the full length mirrors in the locker room on countless occasions, and each time I think that I cannot possibly be as small as the image reflected back to me. Yes, I am short, but certainly not as petite as the mirrors would like me to believe that I am. Of course, after a childhood and adolescence marked by pitiful body issues, I am far from being the best judge of my own form. Like many women, I tend to be my body's harshest critic. I'm better than I used to be, but at times I still get caught up in scrutinizing my reflection, cursing genetics, my grilled cheese sandwich addiction, beer drinking and fondness for sloth, wondering how wonderful life would be a dress size smaller. I'll stop there before I start waxing philosophical about my days as a size 0.

Anyway, has anyone else out there experienced a similar phenomenon with gym locker room mirrors? My theory is that they install "skinny mirrors" so that you'll feel like your workouts are well, working, and you'll be inspired to continue to give them 80 bucks a month for membership dues. What do we think here? Yay? Nay?

And in other news, les corps de Hey Pretty est fatigue today. I somehow got it into my mind that I need to exercise more (frankly, because I do) so I have taken every opportunity possible to walk, which has meant an urban trek every day this week, and a trip to the gym on Tuesday where I re-introduced my lazy ass to the concept of jogging (see how I didn't front and call it "running"? I am all about the accurate reporting here). It actually went over far better than I expected it to. Perhaps an athlete lies within this fleshy frame after all.

9 Comments:

Blogger I-66 said...

Could be worse.

Could be grilled cheese and bacon.

7:51 PM  
Blogger ejtakeslife said...

I believe it's called jogging, or "yogging;" it might be a soft "j."

7:57 PM  
Blogger Lickety Split said...

funny...I just get out of the gym to read this blog entry. I was thinking to myself that the scale in the men's lockerroom was a fat scale. I checked to see if it was calibrated and sure enough...the scale that is never in need of calibration was off by about a pound and a half!

Judge your membership dues by how much you utilize the facilities and equipment and the cost of having to own such material in relatively new condition at all times...rather than the results. Chances are you'd look fabulous in any mirror.

8:27 PM  
Blogger Kristin said...

I tend to avoid the gym in favor of the natatorium and, Lord knows, no mirror could make me look svelte in a swimsuit.

9:17 PM  
Blogger Ryane said...

Oh, I know what you mean. The mirrors definitely seem like they are hexed at the gym...

11:57 AM  
Blogger EclecticBlue said...

Hmm, I must be going to the wrong gyms. I am convinced that the mirrors in the bathroom of my previous employer were somehow manipulated to make one look thinner.

Now I have to go on my fitness professional spiel: It's not about how you look (or weigh), it's about how you feel. Exercise has benefits beyond getting you into a pair of size 4 jeans.

Take it from someone who has spent countless hours looking in the mirror, criticizing my saddle bags, orange peel thighs, etc. Just when I think, "Wow, I look ... puffy," some member will come up to me after one of my classes and say "Geez, I wish I had your body." We're always too hard on ourselves.

2:14 PM  
Blogger Hey Pretty said...

I-66: Yum! Total splurge there. Harry's makes a killer one.

EJ: Is that "yogging" as in, "yawn, I'm going jogging?"

LS: I judge my dues by how totally beautiful and humungous my gym is, and because it is mostly gay men, I am totally left alone when I am there.

K: Don't even get me started on swimsuits. Ugh.

R: Thank you. Word.

EB: I am slowly learning that. I grew up loathing all forms of exercise because I was a bit younger than my classmates, and hence not as developed in the motor skills. Always being the smallest and the slowest dented my enthusiasm to participate in athletics, so I grew up being the brainy, quirky girl. As an adult I am actually growing to enjoy physical activity, which is something of a shock, to be honest.

3:34 PM  
Blogger Lickety Split said...

fair enough assessment HP...

I judge my gym based on how many octagenarians are there for cardiac rehab workouts that I can look studly next to...by benching a grocery bag's worth of weight! ;)

Hang in there kid....at least you're at the gym.

7:18 PM  
Blogger Van Nasty said...

the mirrors at the dance studio i go to have a similar slimming power. ive been known to try and steal those mirrors for my own personal home usage.

and i call my "jogging" waggling which is a sort of walking jog. i imagine it looks the way it sounds.

7:24 PM  

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