hey pretty

Ceci n'est pas une "dating blog."

Friday, November 17, 2006

The Importance of Planning Ahead

So the weekend is basically here and if you're like many blog readers, you may be looking forward to some social activities involving the imbibment of alcohol. If you're anything like me, you're hoping that you can stick to your plan of not getting wickedly drunk and doing something regrettable. Well fear not, I just found a very handy website to assist you with this goal. It's called Intoximeter's Drink Wheel, and it looks suspiciously familiar. I think my 8th grade health teacher made us use it in class one day, but that I turned my nose up at it because I had no intention of ever getting drunk.

Ha, ha.

With a little bit of foresight and proper planning, the Intoximeter will tell you how many of certain types of beverages you can consume within a given time frame before you get too drunk to remember where you live, remember that flirting with the bartender is not an appropriate activity, or before you wake up in Reno with no recollection of the night before, but apparently married to a trucker named Larry.

Let's for example, say that I decide to drink 3 Manhattans (pure whisky and vermouth drops of heaven) in 4 hours. According to my new friend the Intoximeter, that would put me at a BAC of .086, or drunk enough to be convicted of driving drunk in many states. What Intoximeter doesn't know however, is that I don't ever drive. But still, that's pretty effen drunk.

Or in another scenario, I drank 4 light beers in 4 hours. Apparently, that puts my BAC at .00. Score!

Finally, if I drank 10 martinis in 5 hours I would most likely die.

Therefore, the plan is to avoid martinis and probably manhattans as well and stick to light beer. Voila!

What will you be drinking?

As much as I love this tool, I take issue with the fact that it assumes you're drinking the same thing all night. It doesn't account for very likely scenarios such as your friend buying you three shots of Jaeger. So in cases like that you need to be sober enough to exercise some common sense of course. Such as, three shots of Jaeger is probably a very bad idea.


Blogger Awkward said...

Or when the bartender, who yes, you have flirted with, but only because he is exceptionally charming when you are exceptionally drunk decides to buy you that Irish Car Bomb- should that even compute into the Intoximeter? So I say the Bombs and shots of Jaeger don't have to be counted, after all you're not driving.

12:19 AM  
Blogger honeykbee said...

Flirting with the bartender is what now?!

2:37 AM  
Blogger Hey Pretty said...

Okay, fine. For HP flirting with the bartender is inappropriate, because in certain cases, I already dated his co-worker, and well...that certainly never ends well. Do as I say, not as I do.

8:22 AM  
Blogger Kristin said...

I've been banned from flirting with bartenders (esp at the Lounge) and pretty much everyone else in the service industry. Too much history.

I should keep it all in mind with birthday parties tonight. Intoximeter, here I come.

1:15 PM  
Blogger Hey Pretty said...

K-The Intoximeter did me very well last night. I highly recommend memorizing a few drink quantities before hitting the town. As for Lounge bartenders, there's only one worth flirting with at the present and I'm determined to stay on his good side so I try as best I can to reign it in around him. Someday should an invent an Intoximeter for bartender flirting.

3:28 PM  
Blogger Ryane said...

I am not sure that there is ANY drink-o-meter that can take account for 3 Jaeger shots and an Irish Car-bomb.

But on the flip side, I am fairly certain the mere fact that you can drink all of those (in one sitting), and remember to blog about them later, makes you my hero...=-)

2:37 PM  
Blogger EclecticBlue said...

Hmm, this drink wheel thingie does look like something from health class. The funniest thing about it is the list of drinks -- Tom Collins, Old Fashioned, Rob Roy. Does anyone under the age of 65 drink those? Where are the Cosmos, Irish Car Bombs, and my personal favorite, mojitos?

10:56 PM  
Blogger Frankly, Scarlett said...

This is the lightweight drinking wheel! 5 beers in 4 hours in NO WAY makes me drunk. They need to take ethnicity into account! Irish Gals can hold their liquor!

7:56 PM  

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