Welcome to the Working Week

Ugh. Standing in a crowded metro car that is slowly filling up with the smell of burning rubber is so not a good way to start one's week. But because we rarely have the luxury of *deciding* how our week is going to start, as Mondays are normally foisted at us by the cruel Gods of the post-weekend, so began the week in the land of Hey Pretty. Another bad way to start the week is by spending Sunday night closing down the bar after kickball. Okay, so I didn't close it exactly, but I was the second to last kickballer to leave. The last one, my partner in crime for the last hour or so of the night, stubbornly stayed behind and refused to walk me to the ATM leaving me to my own devices when dealing with the homeless guys outside. Thanks. Thank you, very much. No goodbye kiss for you. (which was probably your rationale, actually because for some people, the slope from tequila shots to walking out of a door is a slippery one indeed).

Spring is causing people to act in all sorts of weird ways. DC has spring fever and it has it bad. And because DC is the smallest big city anywhere, I keep on running into faces from my past. There's nothing quite like the experience of going to a party specifically because you have a crush on the person who invited you only to run into the person who you dated for a month or so over the winter who mysteriously lost interest in you. It really throws off one's game and distracts one from the purpose of the evening, which is to flirt with the host of the party, not get into a conversation with winter dumper about the fact that he broke up with you because you wouldn't put out. Oh. Mystery solved. Also, it's bad to share that sort of information with certain girls, because certain girls are just to the type put out simply to prove a point. Not that I would ever do that, mind you. I'm just sayin'. So after all that fretting about how soon is too soon is turns out that there wasn't a "too soon." In fact, "now" wouldn't have been soon enough. Kids these days. Anyway, so DC has spring fever and all weekend I felt like people from the past (even those who I see pretty regularly) were resurfacing in odd ways and propositioning me strangely or telling me weird things about myself based on their perceptions, which are only half way correct. Apparently, I have an uncanny ability to create chaos without even really meaning to, wanting to, or trying. I guess you could call it my special super hero power. Maybe they should make a TV show about me.

Speaking of TV, I just had a revelation based on the show 24. I think it would be hilarious to do a 24 about me. If you imagine the typical week of DC 9-5er I think this idea is so hilarious simply because it is so bad. The first episode would be all about me hitting snooze, sleeping, showering, getting ready, walking to the metro and the metro delay. It would have a great cliff hanger as well because the episode would end just as the next train was pulling in to the station and viewers would be forced to wonder if I actually got to work on time. The rest of the season would include me sitting at a desk typing stuff, wandering outside to have a cigarette, chatting with a coworker, and leaving work. There could be all sorts of interactions with people based on my histories with them that they viewer would have to infer for themselves. To spice things up I could go to a happy hour later in the season and stay for a long time so there could be a good five episodes based on my experience at there. It's something for the network execs to think about.