hey pretty

Ceci n'est pas une "dating blog."

Friday, April 14, 2006

People Are Crazy and Times are Strange

...I'm locked in tight, I'm out of range.
I used to care but, things have changed.

I'm realizing today that I don't deal particularly well with change. As bored as I always become with the status quo, when change actually does occur, I can't help but feel nostalgic for what was. A lot has changed recently. Spring is typically a time of renewal and change, and that is especially the case this year. Several of my favorite co-workers have left our company, my father is moving to Mexico with his girlfriend, friendships are evolving and I'm trying to shake off old immature habits and actually act as wise as I know that I am. While some of this disturbs me, some wonderful things have occurred as a result of these evolutions.

Last night a small group of us stayed out until almost midnight drinking beer and playing the most inept games of pool I have ever experienced. Throughout this event my relationship with a co-worker took an interesting turn. I've known said coworker since August when I started. You know when you meet somebody and your personalities immediately click? This rarely happens to me, partly because flippancy is my primary method of communication and some people don't understand that. But this person is the most flippant person ever so we became fast friends to the point that we always know what is up with one another, without having to say anything. Because this person is married and lives out in the 'burbs we rarely get drunk together. Until last night that is, where we realized that we are the best worst pool team in the DC Metro area, siblings separated at birth, and although this wasn't articulated at the time--not the best influence on one another, but in a really fun way. Basically, we're both trouble and we both know that we're both trouble and that's where much of the fun comes in. It was still one hell of a night.

My experience with him, and come to think of it, several other guys I'm friends with highlights a theme that I am actually really interested in: Platonic friendships between men and women. The movie When Harry Met Sally famously explores the tricky balance between friendship and romantic interest. As we all know, early in the movie, Harry states that men and women can't be friends. Sally, being an idealist and something of a prude, disagrees. As we also all know, the movie ends with Harry and Sally living happily ever after. Clearly, Nora Epheron, the movies' writer, agrees with Harry's philosophy to some extent. In fact, popular culture is constantly trying to ram the idea of male-female friendships morphing into romances down our throats. To cite another annoying example, on Sex and the City, Carrie and Big could never be friends no matter how hard they tried. Their attempts to do so ended up first in them sleeping together, thereby ruining their legitimate romantic relationships, and finally, several tedious years later, getting together once and for all. For once, I would like popular culture to provide me with a roadmap of how to have a successful platonic relationship with a guy without getting together with him in the end. I feel that this would be quite instructive and would probably be helpful in counter-balancing the shit we're constantly fed about waiting for our dense guy pals to morph from clueless beer-swilling 20-somethings into prince charmings.

Anyway, yes. Some of my most favorite friends are guys, but with many of them I feel like there's an under current of sexual tension. With the ones who have girlfriends and wives, I tend to wonder how ethical that is. Even if you aren't actively cheating by hooking up, where does the line between okay behavior and not lie? And what pacts, spoken and otherwise, exist to make sure that neither party traverses that line?

Wow, this post did not cover what I intended to cover at all.

More later, (maybe) (perhaps next time, on topic).


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