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Ceci n'est pas une "dating blog."

Monday, April 02, 2007

Drive-By Kissing

The scene: A bar in Dupont Circle.

The time: Late Friday night, several weeks ago.

The scenario: I had been sitting outside with a co-worker chatting about life over a few cigarettes. Nothing special or earth-shattering was discussed, although semi-serious tid bits of personal information were exchanged. Minutes later, inside, the crowd was dispersing to various post-happy hour locations. Having had several whiskies, I decided to call it a night. Pleasantries were exchanged with smoking buddy co-worker. Again nothing special, just your typical "see you on Monday" goodnights, when he gently grabbed my sweater, pulled me in to him and kissed me on the lips. Too stunned to really object, I might have returned the favor. I went home, thinking WTF? to myself for the duration of my short metro ride.

Skip ahead several weeks. I rarely have reason to work with said individual. In fact, our paths rarely cross unless we both just happen to be sharing space in the same elevator. I've seen him a grand total of four times in the past month, each encounter extremely short and highly formal. Each time, I leave the situation with a chorus of WTFs? echoing in my head. As delusional as I sometimes may be, I have never fabricated a kiss. I am certain that this one occurred, and yet, nothing has been said about it. Really, I suppose there isn't anything to say. I certainly can't be all "Hey, remember a month ago when you rather inappropriately smooched me at the bar?"

I'd be lying if I said I've never kissed a co-worker. When you work at a place with a close-knit social group and a lot of young people who like to party together, stuff is gonna go down. But normally there's some sort of dialog about it, even if it's just the run-of-the-mill "Hey, are we cool?" or whatever.

I have no interest in continuing said shenanigans with said man. He's bad news through and through. I don't find him all that attractive, except perhaps because he is such bad news. But objectively, I know this isn't a situation that needs to be encouraged. And yet...I have found myself extremely flummoxed during each of our subsequent encounters. Plus, it would be highly unprofessional and I am all about the professionalism. Part of me wants to be like "Hey, what is up with you? Do you regularly kiss women you shouldn't kiss and then act like nothing happened? Are you from some culture where casually kissing people is an accepted social norm? What the hell is your deal?" I am obviously not about to do this, so instead I am totally stuck in this most ambiguous of situations.

Has anything like that ever happened to you?



Anonymous average jane said...

When I was working in Seattle, I worked 70 hour weeks with a bunch of drunks, including one particularly attractive, dumb as bricks young man who I happened to have a thing for. So one night, he was drunk, I was less drunk, and I laid one on him. Now, I was technically senior to him, and smooching subordinates was *highly* discouraged.

Not a word was ever spoken about this car-kiss, leading me to believe no one else knew. I was very wrong. 2 years after leaving there, someone told me that everyone knew and was still talking about it... Lovely.

7:26 PM  
Blogger Awkward said...

How much had he had to drink? I mean, was he drunk enough to not remember, or drunk enough to realize how embarassing that could be and so he chooses not to remember? Comparatively, at least you're getting kissed!

8:30 PM  
Blogger Alex said...

unexpected kisses at the right moment can be a great thing, but the way you describe it makes me think more of Senator Packwood.

10:44 PM  
Blogger Matt said...

I think he was drunk. While drunk, I've grabbed coworker titties. Yeah, I've been written up.

12:21 AM  
Blogger Matt said...

I think he was drunk. While drunk, I've grabbed coworker titties. Yeah, I've been written up.

12:21 AM  
Anonymous 123Valerie said...

Matt has grabbed my "titties" whilst he was drunk.

In any case, yes. As a very green flight attendant, I fooled around with a number of Captains before realizing that this was bad form. But hotel rooms+drinking+wives far away=scandal.

4:32 AM  
Blogger Michael J. West said...

Wow. I can honestly affirm that that has never happened to me. Now there was once a time, long ago and far away, when I would have killed to have it happen to me with a certain coworker, and I considered taking that action but was too decent to follow through. I'm not sure whether to be stunned by your coworker's hubris or impressed by his chutzpah.

11:56 AM  
Blogger LJ said...

I've never had anything happen like that... or at least not in recent days (perhaps back in high school, back in the working the movie theater days...).

Is the place where you work big enough that it's not an issue? It sounds like you guys are in contact enough though that some sort of dialogue should have occurred. Just my $0.02

1:24 PM  
Blogger Eric said...

I can't say I've ever come across this in a professional environment. I was a bartender for a few years and I'm pretty I made out with at least 60% of the women on staff, buts that different. Now I work in an engineering firm, there is a grand total of three women so it goes without saying that thats an uncommon scenario here. I'd probably just continue to pretend like it didn't happen if I were you.

6:07 PM  
Blogger heart said...

I knew he had a crush on me. I was in the middle of a complicated break up. We hung out. I said goodnight, he said give me a hug - okay no problem i like hugs. He said give me a kiss - and I did. Don't really know why. Definately awkward the next day at work, but in the long run we're still actually quite good friends.

4:05 AM  

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