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Ceci n'est pas une "dating blog."

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

When Life Hands You Lemons, Say "No Thank You" and Hand Them Back

So I began my day feeling horrifically sad. Bummed out and blue in a way that made me feel like I'd never climb out of my emotional hole. It seemed that I was once again depressed about a boy. The kind of depression caused by ambiguity, waiting, and dreading whatever comes next. I spent most of the morning staring into space, researching Japanese meals I could learn to cook and writing people sad emails. Until I got tired of being sad and wondered if there wasn't something I could do to reverse my current fortunes. I mean, really. Sad about a guy? How clichéd is that. So not worth it.

It was then that I got to thinking about optimism again, and the fact that I am not one. In any given situation my immediate instinct is to think of the worst case scenario. It's my way of preparing myself for disappointment. Unfortunately, it has come to mean that I tend to *expect* disappointment. Luckily, I have my homegal Lorelia, who is the world's sunniest person. Seriously, I'm surprised that woodland creatures don't follow her around wherever she goes (instead she has boys for that). This isn't to say that L is one of those unbearably sweet types either. She's a total vixen and loves to gossip almost as much as I do. Anyway, I'm off track. I have been trying to learn from L's optimism. For instance, for the past two days whenever I've moaned or complained about the shambles that is my romantic life, L just tells me not to worry, because the boy will totally come around. Yes, as my friend she's supposed to say that, but I also believe that she really believes it. That's just how she is.

So rather than moping around the office any longer, I followed her lead. I identified something positive to think about, and I am choosing to focus on that. So instead of being all "my tawdry new romance isn't going to workout" I am instead thinking "I can't control another person and if it doesn't work out everything is going to be fine." See? Optimism.

So then I was thinking about the larger picture of personal fulfillment and decided that I have been sitting on the digital camera purchase for too long. Yes, I was trying to save for a Canon D30 and those cost over 1,000 dollars. So I decided to make things easier on myself. I decided that the Canon Rebel XTi (less expensive) is a perfectly acceptable piece of equipment and that it will be fine for my needs. Yes, it's my dream to be a professional photographer. But the longer I sit on my ass not shooting, the more it remains a dream. At least with the Rebel I'll be practicing my skills and improving. Perhaps even inching that much closer to my goal. So I clicked the order button, filled in my info, and with a much lighter wallet soon received email confirmation that my new prize will arrive within 4 to 6 days. Then begins the fun of learning to use it. Which I can totally handle!

5 Comments:

Blogger EJ Takes Life said...

Good for you! Can I come over and play with your Rebel sometime? That sounds dirtier than was meant, but I've been thinking abt getting one and would love to get your opinion.

5:56 PM  
Blogger mm said...

Amen. Happiness is a state of mind.

6:36 PM  
Blogger gn said...

I'd just like to say that I, in my grammatical nerdiness, was happy -- nay, excited -- to read "How clichéd is that" rather than "cliché." People always seem to confuse the two.

But, um, back to the subject of this post: Sometimes it's OK to brood and feel down, but it's amazing how much of a difference even telling yourself to be positive makes. Good for you!

4:29 AM  
Blogger lorelai236 said...

Bring your Rebel to Boston! ;)

11:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

in the words of a sage 13 year old i just visited in May, "no boy is worth getting so sad over. and the one who is won't make you so sad."

4:30 PM  

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