Of All of the Time In the World To Spend It Wild and Unwise

I know it's been a couple of weeks since I shared any dating/boy related news. Well fear not! I have many juicy developments to share with you. So pull up a chair, grab some coffee. We may be here for a while.

So, dear readers, it seems that I have one doozy of a crush. I'm really not even certain if I can even call it that as crush sounds so light-hearted and innocent and this most certainly isn't. It's tortured and complex and unexpected and alarming.

We need to come up with a new word to classify whatever this is, because it's bad. But good. Oh, I can't tell the difference anymore.

So, it's been festering for months. I think it was even festering when I was actively proclaiming my dislike for the person. Like, I was doth protesting a little too much, if you catch my drift. Anyway, this person. There are a bunch of reasons why it has seemed like a bad idea to like him, not all of which I am ready to share. But after it became clear to me that said person was attracted to me, I thought it might be okay if he became my new boy toy. This plan was being put into implementation and was going splendidly. We'd run into one another occasionally. There'd be some bantering and flirting. I'd exit said situation feeling a little giddy but mostly like a complete rockstar for owning it so effectively.

Then on Saturday some stuff definitely went down. And he freaked out. Which lead me to freak out about his freaking out.

I know what you're thinking. Well, you're probably thinking many things. If you're smart you're wondering why Hey Pretty can't get her act together and like normal people who don't have issues. I wonder about that too. You're possibly also wondering why I cared about his freakout if he's a mere boytoy and I was only interested in batting him around a bit before putting him away for a while.

Well, a funny thing happened on Saturday. Somewhere in the midst of beer, jello shots, and an awesome makeout session, we clicked. Like, I want to talk to this person all the time and hold their hand and discover every single mysterious crevice of his brain and do nice things for him and generally hang out and watch TV with takeout food even if it's something I hate like documentaries on the History Channel kind of clicked.

Which I wasn't expecting because I was under the impression that he was kind of a washed-up womanizer, a little sleazy, and something of a loser.

And perhaps he is and my judgment is being clouded by the fact that he's a really good kisser. It's really impossible to tell. And it's confusing when you have a very rigid impression of a person and it begins to change. Especially when it goes from bad to good.

Anyway.

He freaked out. Had a little guy-meltdown and went home. Which lead me to complain about the whole situation ad nauseum on Sunday. Props to Lorelia and my roommates for putting up with me.

But wait, there's more.

So, late Sunday afternoon I decided to go to a friend's birthday celebration because I feel like leaving the house and also because there was a chance I'd run into HIM and we had some lose ends to take care of. He wasn't there. But apparently he has a brother, and he was there. A brother who spent half the night telling me anecdotes about HIM blissfully unaware that his HE had left my house very early that morning and that I had been wearing few clothes when that occurred. A brother who handed me his Treo and told me to message HIM so that he'd come over. Oh my. The whole situation was incredibly hilarious because of the players involved and the fact that certain people involved lacked CRUCIAL pieces of information. The Brother even suggested that we go over to HIS house to say hi. That struck me as being a terrible idea, and since I had consumed three beers by that point and I'm a lightweight I blurted out "That's a terrible idea and something tells me you're about to understand why rather soon." He just looked at me like I was on crack. By that point, I might as well have been.

But.

Something good also occurred. When I messaged him on the Treo I gave him my # and told him to text me. Which lead to a good conversation wherein I simply said that I had fun last night and didn't think that any of it is a big deal (liar). I also asked him if we could possibly chat soon not on text and he agreed, stating that it would be even better to do so "over beer." So it could be a date. Or it could be that the prospect of talking to me drives him to drink. I can't tell.

So in relating all this to Lorelai this morning over email, she remarked "Well, the universe couldn't let Mercury leave its retrograde without one final bang, now could it?" and I couldn't agree more. Because Mercury in retrograde is always sucky and confusing and my life is chaotic and weird enough.
So that's what's shaking there. I have an undefined romantic affliction on a very confusing individual who would be completely perfect for me if he'd be willing to get over his issues. Again. In other words, same old song and dance over here. Of course, I am also wondering something else. It could just be that he's using his so-called fear as an excuse to not date me because he isn't that into me. Time will tell. For now, I'm just giving him some space and letting him make the next move. He knows where to find me.