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Thursday, May 17, 2007

Goal For Weekend: Use Hot Gay Man as Wingman

As mentioned earlier, I'm attended a college reunion Memorial Day weekend. The last time I visited school was the year after graduation. Many interesting things happened during my visit. One of them was running into a boy, we'll call him Dave, who was seriously one of the hottest boys at our school. He used to strut around campus looking all badass in whatever clothing qualified as cool in the middle and late '90s with his equally cool hipster girlfriend, who was stunning in a heroin chic kind of way. They were quite the couple. Dave was also not terribly friendly, which of course added to his hotness.

During our post-graduation visit I ended up spending a bit of time with Dave, mostly because we shared a couple of mutual friends. Dave was considerably friendlier during these chats, like much, much friendlier. And happier, and well-adjusted-seeming. At first I chalked this up to no longer being stuck at a small college populated by nothing but hippy freako weirdos and their pretentious hipster counterparts. I after all, had recently developed these things called social skills, and had been enthusiastically testing them out on anyone who would let me. Dave included. So Dave and I are chatting and I made some sort of sarcastic remark about how funny it would be for somebody to come out of the closet after graduation because our school was so vehemently "gay friendly". I mean, the amount of talk we endured about Kinsey scales, "safe environments", and Act Up events was beyond unbelievable. Sometimes it seemed that being straight was the true alternative lifestyle. Anyway. Dave rolled his eyes at me and said "Coming out after graduation isn't as rare as you'd think." And then he changed the subject.

Wait, *pause*. What?

Dave is happy.
Dave is being nice to me.
Dave is hot and well dressed.


Dave is totally gay. Of course.

Since then I have run into Dave a couple of times. He lives in New York but sometimes work brings him to DC. He's always surprised and happy to see me and we always spend 5 very lovely minutes together. The topic of his gayness is never addressed specifically, but it's always there in the back of my mind and it makes me giggle.

With reunion coming up, I am kicking myself that I never got his email address. Because it would be totally swell to spend the weekend knocking back PBRs with Dave and hitting on cute boys together.

In the comments section, tell me what sort of clothes you thought were cool in the mid-to late 90s and what Dave and I will name our children should I be mistaken about his orientation.

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Blogger EJ Takes Life said...

Ideal outfit of 1994: Baby tee, flower print babydoll dress and Doc Martens with big thick white socks. And a choker. I saw it on the cover of Sassy and knew I had to have it.

8:41 PM  
Blogger LMNt said...

You know, straight guys make pretty damn good wingmen sometimes, too. And if you don't meet the right boy? You've still got a hot straight man to leave with anyway. :-P

8:52 PM  
Blogger Eric said...

In the mid to late 90's I was in middle school/early years of high school in the suburbs, we weren't exactly fashion forward. I'm pretty sure if you weren't wearing Abercrombie you shouldn't have even bothered showing up to school because you would be a social outcast.

2:29 PM  
Blogger Shannon said...

Mid-90s fashion statement? Doc Martens or Chuck Taylors, comic-book print babydoll dress, animal crackers box as a purse. Yes, I was that kid.

I think you guys would go for hippie liberal feminist baby names...like, the boys would have girls' names and the girls would have boys' names.

2:30 PM  
Blogger Matt said...

Did we go tto the same college? But instead of hipsters we had straight-edge punks.

I never knew women our age (30-ish) referred to men as "boys." Interesting.

2:50 PM  
Blogger Jason said...

Mid-90's would be worn-out black Vans, Levi's Silver Tab jeans, and probably a frayed STX lacrosse t-shirt over one of those thin-materialed long sleeve hoodies that I (wrongly) assumed had a slimming effect.

In retrospect, this explains much of my chronic singleness throughout college. My singleness du jour is an entriely different story...

3:30 PM  

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