hey pretty

Ceci n'est pas une "dating blog."

Monday, August 14, 2006

Why, As a Person Who Likes NPR and Indie Rock Who is Applying to Live in My Group House You are Not Unique

Some of you who are reading this blog entry may have applied to live in my group house recently. If you did, you no doubt wrote me an email telling me a bit about yourself and asking for more information about the house. The email probably went something like this:

Hi, I'm writing to learn more about the room available in your house, it sounds like I'd be a good fit. I am 26 years old, and I just moved to DC 2 months ago to do [insert subject matter here] policy for [bland generic congress person]. I consider myself laid back, considerate, and clean. I am politically left-leaning, like camping, indie rock and NPR. I'm looking for a house that is social, but not overly so. I'd love to hear more about the room. Thanks,

Random Craig's Lister

Please don't take enormous offense to this, but I know that you think that telling me you like camping, indie rock and NPR you'd sound unique. But guess what? You just described half the 20-somethings who live here. If you want to live with us, we're gonna need you to try harder.

If you had written something like this, I would have adored you from the start.

Hi, saw your ad on Craig's List for the roommate. About me:

-I'm a bit of a bitch but most people find it entertaining
-I don't mind if you borrow my clothes but I may occasionally eat your food. Hope that's not a problem
-I'm trying to start a Klezmer band. Okay if we rehearse in the basement?
-I often don't bathe so there will be little conflict when scheduling shower time.

You see the difference between the letter you wrote and the letter I wrote? Mine acknowleged personality defects (lets face it, we all have them), demonstrated self awareness, displayed a certain amount of generosity, suggested a unique talent or interest, and indicated that you moving in will not inconvenience me in any way, which is key because the person whose room you're taking is basically the easiest person to live with ever (except that he's not, but whatever. Those of you in the know will get that). The point is, if you had written an email more like mine, you would have stood out among the hordes of people who have emailed me today alone. But you did not and that is why you are still homeless.

In other news, I finally kissed my kickball crush! I haven't kissed a new person in months so it was terribly exciting to do so. But now I have to wait a week to see him. :(


Blogger Michael J. West said...

God, it's true. I had never realized before that indie-rockers who camp and listen to NPR were such interchangeable parts around here. It's probably what I would have written too, except that I haven't gone camping since 7th grade and all I buy anymore is jazz.

In other news, congratulations on your kickball krush kiss (or KKK). But weren't you supposed to eliminate the cold sore first?

7:43 PM  
Blogger Lickety Split said...


I think you've discovered that having a hobby that's extremely cool...and taking it to an extreme...may ultimately take it 180 degrees the opposite and make it uncool.

To illustrate, my wife has a friend whose husband leans so far to the left politically...guess what?...he's actually on the right!

Now THAT is scary!

8:18 PM  
Blogger Hey Pretty said...

yeah, I know. I probably contaminated him. But he didn't seem to mind. Squee!!!!

LS: Yeah, I was feeling punchy.

9:17 PM  
Blogger the good doctor said...

Hey Pretty – what do you think the other half’s description would look like? Here’s my guess:

Hi, I'm writing to learn more about the room available in your house, it sounds like I'd be a good fit. I am 26 years old, and I just moved to DC 2 months ago to help make sure that the rich keep getting richer while the poor keep getting poorer. I consider myself superior to others and I would be happy to chip in for a maid to pick up our shit (provided she’s an illegal immigrant who we can pay in cash, no way I’m paying minimum wage for someone to clean up after me). I am politically right-leaning, and enjoy slipping girls roofies, Creed and Bill O’Reily. I am looking for a house that is social, but nonetheless all-white. I’d love to hear more about the room. Thanks.

2:59 AM  
Blogger Hey Pretty said...

that was fucking awesome, my friend. i esp like the part about roofies. i don't know what it is about roofie jokes but i find them hillarious. i guess that's not very pc.

3:28 AM  
Anonymous oh please said...

one thing i hate about dc are all the assholes who get off on playing god at their open houses. like you can really tell what someone is like from a fricking craigslist email. get off your high horse... oh wait, you live in dc

6:35 AM  
Blogger Hey Pretty said...

And one of *my* least favorite aspects of DC is people who leave mean spirited anonymous comments on blogs. Regardless, everyone is entitled to their opinion.

1:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In response to the good doctor, I'd like to note that I find most people living in this area (not just the right-leaning people) have a superiority complex.

2:21 PM  

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