Happily Ever After What?

"Because the soul is progressive it never quite repeats itself, but in every act attemps the production of a new and fairer whole." Ralph Waldo Emerson.

My last couple of posts seem to have hit a nerve with many of my readers. Not surprisingly, the whole issue of fitting romantic relationships into the context of our lives, both in the short and long terms, is a challenging proposition for many of us. Last night, after a night on the town with Sailor, I was settling into my evening routine when a re-run of an old Sex in the City came on. I'm sorry to return to this show again as a reference point, but this particular episode brought up an interesting topic. The theme was relationship myths--those fables that illustrate people overcoming seemingly impossible odds to find "the one" that people hold on to as a source of hope that they too will someday find somebody right for them. Aside from the notion that "the one" is a rather outmoded and unrealistic construct in and of itself, I was particularly struck when one of the characters used the term "happily ever after" in describing the outcome of finding "the one."

An old boyfriend of mine once told me that he believed that fairy tales were the worst possible influences on the female psyche because they ingrain little girls with impossible notions of princes and knights sweeping them out of harm's way and carrying them off into the sunset of unidentified bliss that in reality, are never actualized. He said that too many women carry these dreams with them as baggage throughout life, and that nothing ever matches these expectations because they're impossible to attain. In other words, they set women up for failure.

Setting apart the fact that he was probably giving these stories a bit too much power, I mean, I think most of women are capable of seeing fairy tales for the metaphors that they are, but he did have a point. That being, that finding that perfect relationship should never be regarded as the sole catalyst for transforming your life.

So, continuing with this idea that I laid down the other day, that relationships should be considered as dynamic portions of an overall whole, not a means to an end, I pose this question: If another person isn't your happily ever after, what is?

Here are a few of mine: Publishing a book; taking the perfect photograph; finally finding an occupation and job that's 100% right for me; making absolute peace with my body; forgiving myself of my previous mis-steps.

And to pose yet another question, wouldn't it be best if we all just agreed that happily ever after begins right now?

What are some of your happily ever afters?