hey pretty

Ceci n'est pas une "dating blog."

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Is That A Swastika on Your Neck or Are You Just a Complete and Total Douche?

Remember the one about the guy who took me to dinner at Charlie Palmers? And remember how psyched I was to have pulled off a successful dinner date? And then remember how I haven't mentioned him in a week and I hooked up with somebody else over the weekend?

I suppose you're expecting an explanation. Sigh, fine.

I ran into said gentleman last week by accident. By which I mean, I was at a bar after Bocce Ball and he was there. I wanted to spend time with my new Bocce friends, but he and I got to talking. Actually, we got to arguing. When I found him it sort of looked like he was on a date, so I took pains to not talk to him for very long before going to see my friends. Because what else do you do when you see your crush throwing back beers with another woman and the situation is too new that any sort of exclusivity has been discussed or even desired? Right, you make polite conversation and you give them their space. So that's what I did.

But he eventually tracked me down and confronted me on my coldness. Apparently they weren't on a date. Apparently they're "just friends" and it was wrong of me not to shove my tongue down his throat in front of her. Fine, whatever. My fault as always.

Anyway, the conversation soon veered into a lecture about my jealousy and tendency to mistrust people and jump to the wrong conclusions. Ouch. Okay, point taken. I do all those things. I'm a woman and I don't have the best track record with men. I get it, I'm jaded and could stand to open my heart a little more. Fine, I'll work on that.

Blah, blah, blah. He starts rambling on about how "what you see is what you get" with him, how he was no secrets and can only date people who can deal with his honesty.

[Normally I consider that a good thing, by the way.]

But then...blah, blah, blah (delivered in a Scottish accent)...I have a swastika tattooed on my neck...

Um, say what?

Yeah...swastika...tattoo...Jews suck...blah, blah.

You know that my dad's whole side of the family is Jewish right?

Yeah, I know...swastika, openness, Jews suck...blah, blah.

Sometimes it's actually sort of refreshing when somebody gives you such an easy out of a messy situation. Our relationship was going nowhere anyway, so it was really for the best that I found out now that he's a complete and total white trash bigot jackoff. And as I was telling another blogger friend yesterday, it's better that he told me rather than having me find it by accident. I can't imagine anything killing the mood of a hot makeout session more than an ugly symbol of centuries old oppression inked on my partner's body.

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Blogger Jason said...

This didn't actually happen, right? Right? Just tell me it was a Fellini-esque nightmare gone awry and that when you woke you were groggy and confused about the bounds of relaity and, well, non-reality...it only seemed real.

Because I really don't want to believe something like that could actually happen "in these parts." Jesus...

2:45 PM  
Blogger I-66 said...

Let's hope that you don't have to use that tag again.

2:51 PM  
Blogger recovering overachiever said...

Wow, that's unbelievable. Not only was he giving you crap for not paying him enough attention, but then to casually throw out there that he has a swastika tattoo?

2:52 PM  
Blogger LuLu said...

OMG. I don't even know where to go with that one. I'll now be steering quite clear of him at the bar. At least you found out early on, though. Sorry!!!

4:25 PM  
Anonymous 123Valerie said...

Oh, Dear Lord, K. Dear, Sweet, Lord. Is this 1937 or 2007?

Hoo boy. Wow. I thought Scottish people, as a whole, were generally very tolerant?

I love Jewish people! How could you not? Matzo balls are so cute, and that whole Yom Kippur thing? I would LOVE a do-over with God.

Good riddance to bad rubbish, I say.

4:46 PM  
Blogger Frankly, Scarlett said...

Are you SERIOUS!?!?

Good lord on toast!! I hope you promptly threw your drink in his face!

5:21 PM  
Blogger Michael J. West said...


No idea what to do with that.

5:57 PM  
Blogger Belle said...

Wow. Just... Wow.

5:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sure that most Scots are bullies, racists and assholes. That's what this lesson shows us, 123Valerie.

6:44 PM  
Blogger Lickety Split said...

Wow. (Lickety almost speechless, a rare phenomenon,...)

I would venture to say that it isn't fair to generalize about all Scots. We're all far too intelligent here to generalize in that way.

Swastika on the neck though. Man. I am not even going to touch that. That's almost attention-seeking.

What I want to comment on is that HP, what I see here is Mr. Nazi on the defensive. You don't know that they're not romantically linked because he says so. Unless you have sworn affadavits (and not always then) you don't really know if she and he both view what is occurring in that restaurant. I don't think too many people would go right over and gab it up with a couple at a table for two. Perhaps a Miss America half-hand-wave or a "sup?" kinda nod of the head but really,...who in their freakin' mind is going to walk right over to Mr. Eva Braun and say "why haven't you called?" or "I hope you got Hep C from that tat you racist fucking bastard".

No, the answer is you do none of these because you are an intelligent and proud person with enough self-esteem to be "in the you". The very fact that you didn't immediately drop your jaw run over and treat him like he was in a Whitesnake video automatically got his attention. So much so that he had to come out swinging and putting you on the defensive. He did that because he can't sort out why he's hurt. He doesn't understand that you don't need his @$$ or perhaps it's that he feels guilty for never calling you back and figures the best defense is offense.

Look at it this way. You can take your pretty little self anywhere you want and you'll never have to explain a tattoo of a genocidal movement's mark.

He has to live with it.

As usual, I've overstayed my blog welcome but that's just how I see it.

8:40 PM  
Blogger Matt said...


I don't think it's fair to castigate all white trash as anti-Semetic. :)

I like how you recreated the experience of trying to speak w/ a Scottish person.

8:40 PM  
Blogger E :) said...

What. A. Freak.

9:35 PM  
Blogger Ryane said...

Good riddance to that big dumabass. A tattooed swastika on his neck and you are the cold one? OH hell no.

3:48 PM  
Anonymous Sex & Moxie said...

Just wanted to comment on the Scottish thing. Not all Scottish guys are anti-semetic douche bags. The guy I date off and on is Scottish and, though he can seem gruff at times, thankfully he has no swatika tattoos. It must have been so hard not to want to throw your beer in his face.

5:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

IRONY, people. IRONY. Clearly, this does not tell us that Scots are douches, that post was meant to be sarcastic. Since he's a racist, and a Scot, we should assume all Scots are racist. See? irony. . . .

6:27 PM  
Blogger Hey Pretty said...

Jason--I've had some disturbing dreams in my day, but this wasn't one of them. If only.

i-66: You and me both, dude. Although seeing as what a freak magnet I've been these days, only time can tell.

R.0--That's right, he's a NEEDY anti-semite. They're the worst kind.

Lulu--Well, you *did* warn me he was bad news. What was I saying a while back about listening to one's friends? Oh yeah, it's a good thing to do.

Val--I don't think he's representative of the whole. I'm sure most Scots are lovely individuals.

LS--Yes, good points all. Although I should point out that we had been communicating quite regularly until that encounter. It would have been fine if they were romantically linked, as I am actively pursuing other options as well. It was his defensiveness that I took issue with. And the biggotry of course.

Anon--dear sweet anon. It's cool, I get it. I happen to love irony.

8:59 PM  
Blogger Redhead said...

Wow, I didn't know they still make people like this!

8:34 PM  

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