Deal or No Deal?

Having recently been dropped by somebody because I didn't like his dog (actually, his roommate's dog. His roommate's loud, slobbery, emotionally needy dog) I've been thinking a little recently about deal breakers--the quirks, little and small, that people exhibit that cause others to lose interest. I can't say I've ever used a person's dislike of a certain kind of animal (you don't like my Ethiopian Water Frog?? That's it. IT'S OVER!)(No, I don't have an Ethiopian Water Frog, but I used to. In fact, I should get another one. They're fun creatures to have around) but I have lost interest in people due to the fact that they started to annoy me. I'm sure it has seemed random to them as they probably haven't known they were being annoying, but they were. Anyway, this experience has inspired me to take stock of my likes and dislikes and I am slowly compiling a list of what I consider to be deal breakers. I think they're pretty reasonable, no George Costanza-ish excuses like "I don't like their elbows" or whatever.

1.) Shorter than me. Yes, I know, it's unfair to discriminate based on height and being a shorty myself I should be sympathetic. But shorter than 5'2"? Walk along...(and yes, I did once go out with a man shorter than me. I TOWERED over him in my two inch heels. I should not tower over anyone older than 14).

2.) Republican. Sorry, I tried but it turns out that the personal is political. You don't support my gay boyfriend's right to get married or my right to an abortion? Buh bye.

3.) Not funny. What, you have no sense of humor? The side of a Cheerios box is more entertaining than you are? Sorry, this girl needs to laugh. I get mopy and it's your job to cheer me up.

4.) redacted to protect the guilty.


5.) Obsession with sports. You like to watch football, baseball, tennis, soccer, bowling, pool? That's cool. You like to watch them ALL THE TIME AND YOU HAVE NO OTHER INTELLECTUAL INTERESTS? See ya.

6.) Fat. Yes, I am again being insensitive. However, if I have been pressured by society since I was 10 to fit within a certain range of physical sizes, then you must too. A few extra pounds I can deal with, I'm a curvy girl myself, but a girl must draw a line.

7.) You only like lame music. Your favorite band is Def Leppard? And you don't mean so ironically? No way.

8.) You work with me. I tried this once (okay twice, just with the same person) and I can say this didn't go as planned. For starters, it is quite challenging to be in an important meeting with somebody and to realize whenever they talk that you've seen them naked and vice versa. Plus, at some point you may want to bring a date to a work function and it's possible that your coworker won't appreciate seeing you with somebody else. Just say no.

9.) You think you're doing me a favor by dating me. Thanks, but no thanks.

10.) Bad breath, body odor, back hair and the like. No, no, ew, and no.


Those are the most glaring ones. Deal breakers that others have that don't matter much to me: Being poor, smoking and snoring.

And you?