hey pretty

Ceci n'est pas une "dating blog."

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Deal or No Deal?

Having recently been dropped by somebody because I didn't like his dog (actually, his roommate's dog. His roommate's loud, slobbery, emotionally needy dog) I've been thinking a little recently about deal breakers--the quirks, little and small, that people exhibit that cause others to lose interest. I can't say I've ever used a person's dislike of a certain kind of animal (you don't like my Ethiopian Water Frog?? That's it. IT'S OVER!)(No, I don't have an Ethiopian Water Frog, but I used to. In fact, I should get another one. They're fun creatures to have around) but I have lost interest in people due to the fact that they started to annoy me. I'm sure it has seemed random to them as they probably haven't known they were being annoying, but they were. Anyway, this experience has inspired me to take stock of my likes and dislikes and I am slowly compiling a list of what I consider to be deal breakers. I think they're pretty reasonable, no George Costanza-ish excuses like "I don't like their elbows" or whatever.

1.) Shorter than me. Yes, I know, it's unfair to discriminate based on height and being a shorty myself I should be sympathetic. But shorter than 5'2"? Walk along...(and yes, I did once go out with a man shorter than me. I TOWERED over him in my two inch heels. I should not tower over anyone older than 14).

2.) Republican. Sorry, I tried but it turns out that the personal is political. You don't support my gay boyfriend's right to get married or my right to an abortion? Buh bye.

3.) Not funny. What, you have no sense of humor? The side of a Cheerios box is more entertaining than you are? Sorry, this girl needs to laugh. I get mopy and it's your job to cheer me up.

4.) redacted to protect the guilty.

5.) Obsession with sports. You like to watch football, baseball, tennis, soccer, bowling, pool? That's cool. You like to watch them ALL THE TIME AND YOU HAVE NO OTHER INTELLECTUAL INTERESTS? See ya.

6.) Fat. Yes, I am again being insensitive. However, if I have been pressured by society since I was 10 to fit within a certain range of physical sizes, then you must too. A few extra pounds I can deal with, I'm a curvy girl myself, but a girl must draw a line.

7.) You only like lame music. Your favorite band is Def Leppard? And you don't mean so ironically? No way.

8.) You work with me. I tried this once (okay twice, just with the same person) and I can say this didn't go as planned. For starters, it is quite challenging to be in an important meeting with somebody and to realize whenever they talk that you've seen them naked and vice versa. Plus, at some point you may want to bring a date to a work function and it's possible that your coworker won't appreciate seeing you with somebody else. Just say no.

9.) You think you're doing me a favor by dating me. Thanks, but no thanks.

10.) Bad breath, body odor, back hair and the like. No, no, ew, and no.

Those are the most glaring ones. Deal breakers that others have that don't matter much to me: Being poor, smoking and snoring.

And you?


Blogger recovering overachiever said...

I have to say, along the lines of sense of humor, he has to be able to read when I'm joking.
I took a guy I was dating to a party at my friend's house once. We were just hanging out and I teased him about something he said. Not only did he shut down and stop talking to me, but he also left me at the party because he suddenly wasn't in the mood to be around people! After we hadn't seen each other in 2 weeks.

5:46 PM  
Blogger LuLu said...

A few of my deal breakers:

1) Gold jewelery. And being from New Jersey is not an excuse for being unable to accesorize.

2) Habitual (and by habitual I mean, wake and bake all day long pot smoking) pot smoking. To quote Clueless: It is one thing to spark up a doobie and get laced at parties, but it is quite another to be fried all day.

3) Hey Pretty, I'm with you on the back hair. I understand that one cannot help where they grow hair; however, guys expect girls to take care of unsightly hair... we should expect the same thing of guys. Too bad for them that they grow hair on their back. I think it's gross.

4) The inability to sit quietly in a chair and read a good book. You don't own any books... don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.

6:12 PM  
Anonymous the good doctor said...

Outside of living or working with you, couldn’t you sum this up by saying that you’ll date “people who don’t suck.”

Given Wonkette’s recent semi-hard-on for Hey Pretty, I put the probability that they’ll pick this post up at 3/1. I’m confident in this because of the Republican comment, which provides them the political tie-in they love.

Also, is every Hey Pretty post going to contain a numbered list from this point forward? Personally I like the idea, and seriously, who can resist numbered formatting?

6:20 PM  
Blogger I-66 said...

"but until then you'll just have to be content with flirtatious banter and me stealing your shampoo every now and then"

...you've stolen men's shampoo?

6:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Over the past few years, I stepped outside of my "type" and consequently, have found myself very much in love with a Republican, NASCAR-loving man (gasp, horror. Actually, let me clarify that his being Republican and/or a NASCAR fan is in no way related to the qualities that I love about him.) I think that opening myself up to people who I had been unavailable to in the past was a great learning experience: life isn’t supposed to be about absolutes because you end up closing yourself off to a lot of experiences in general (good and bad).

Anyway, I suppose that I’m a hypocrite because I will admit that I held onto one steadfast rule: he must not only tolerate, but also love my neurotic, excitable, attention-whore of a dog. (I just don’t trust people who don’t like dogs.)

7:43 PM  
Blogger ejtakeslife said...

My least-PC dealbreaker is that they went to college. Not necessarily graduated, but at least attended a college or university for a year. It's not a matter of judgement, I just don't want to be put in the position of feeling like I have to defend my education.

4:10 PM  
Anonymous wildbill the pirate said...

I'd have to agree with the main point: I love life- it's people that suck. As for the other points,individual tastes vary widely- yes pretty, there ARE women who like some back hair ( not a pelt, mind you) Having a sense of Humor is Key,as is intelligence. I find that you also have to like the way people smell. I'm not talking about disgusting but rather the scent that someone close to you has. Pheremones. If someone smells bad to you and or doesn't get along with dogs/cats, avoid them like the Plague!

1:01 PM  
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2:46 PM  
Blogger Lickety Split said...

As someone who inherited some backhair from my beloved mother...I laughed hysterically. Love it....

9:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Height requirements; As a guy I have the same thing -- I won't date girls taller than I am. Thought that was funny.

11:04 PM  

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